Aftermath
by thechosen1
Summary: Story begins after lies my parents told me and turns A/U.(different spin on the end of season 7) There's a new "Bad" in Sunnydale out to destroy buffy and spike. ch15 is up.
1. Default Chapter

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Writers Notes: I have made some slight changes in the first four chapters, mostly grammatical though so they shouldn't make much of a difference in the story line. Feel free to let me know what you think. Reviews are much appreciated!

__

Story begins after "Lies my parents told me"

Buffy was restless after her falling out with Giles. She couldn't believe that he could be so vicious. She knew it was a little harsh shutting him out like that, but what did he expect. He tried to kill her strongest fighter, her partner, her….Spike. Okay, so maybe he isn't her Spike, but on some level he is…hers…isn't he? She was pacing in her room contemplating the night's events when she stopped in front of her mirror.

"Uuuugh, I've got to get out of here!" 

"Great now I'm talking to me self, I'm turning all….psycho girl " 

She couldn't stand it anymore. Spike disappeared after she saw him outside of Robyn's, she slammed the door on Giles' face, and she was driving herself nuts. She needed a walk. She quickly got dressed, throwing on her black leather pants and a white tank top, and hit the streets. As she was walking she starting thinking of how close she had come to losing Spike, and again started wondering how Giles could do this to her. Then again, he didn't act alone- it really was Robyn's fault wasn't it. It was his search for vengeance that started this. 

"I can't believe he would do that to me!" She screamed as she reached the cemetery, not even realizing that she had headed straight in that direction.

She had been so confused about her relationship with Spike lately. She knew she loved him, more or less in the same way she loved Willow and Xander. Okay, so maybe a little more than less- heading in a different direction, but that didn't really matter, did it? "Think about the mission" Giles had said to her, and that's what she was doing. She was willing to sacrifice whatever it took to win this battle; only she couldn't understand why Giles refused to see how important an Ally Spike would be. 

And then there was the whole Spike thing in itself. It's been getting harder and harder lately to be so close to him in that house and not act on her impulses. 

"The mission is what matters," she kept telling herself over and over again. But she couldn't help but feel that she was missing something from her life.

"Talking to someone pet?" Spike asked as he appeared from behind a crypt a few feet in front of her.

"Spike?" 

"Kind of late for a walk in the park love, isn't it"

"I couldn't sleep. I thought it might help, you know, clear my mind. I'm sorry about tonight Spike, I didn't know… " 

"I know…"

"Why didn't you come home?"

"Home? I thought it might be wise to keep my distance, 'specially since it seems that pretty much everyone wants me dead"

"That's not….well, okay, maybe Giles, and the potentials….probably Xander…"

"I get it…maybe you should stop trying to convince me" he retorted. He'd had one hell of a night hadn't he? He thought about leaving probably ten times in one hour, but knew he couldn't leave Buffy now that she needed him. The truth was that he needed her too. He couldn't picture any place without her, although he knew the time was coming soon that he would need to go for good.

"What's important though is that I want you there Spike. I was…worried"

"About me love?" He laughed a little, "I've fought much stronger enemies than old Woody before. I gave him bloody hell, I did."  


"I know Spike, it's just…when you didn't come home…"

"What? You thought I left? Thought about it…realized I couldn't do that. Not to you anyway. If it were just the rest of them I would have disappeared." He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked deep into her eyes, "I wouldn't do that to you pet, you know that don't you?"

"I…" She pictured her self just reaching over and kissing him at that moment. She could see herself wrap her arms and legs around his body right then and there and kissing him like never before. "…I know" she said and moved back a little. She had to think about the mission, the mission is what matters"

"It will be daylight soon" she said to him, "we better start heading back"

"Okay, but you keep them off my back love, I'm not in the mood for any more surprises tonight."

They headed back to the house and she walked down to the basement with him. She looked at the cuffs and chains on the wall… "I heard the trigger isn't working anymore…I'm glad I don't need to put you in those" she said pointing to them.

"Yeah well, maybe next time" he winked. 

Buffy blushed a little, and as she was starting to say goodnight Spike grabbed her and kissed her so fiercely that she could hardly breath when he pulled back.

"Sorry" he said, "I needed that"

She simply smiled and headed up the stairs…


	2. Reality sets in

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Writers Notes: I have made some slight changes in the first four chapters, mostly grammatical though so they shouldn't make much of a difference in the story line. Feel free to let me know what you think. Reviews are much appreciated!

It was around 10:00 the next morning when Buffy finally got out of bed. She hadn't really slept for more than 2 hours. That kiss from Spike just kept replaying over and over in her dreams. The way he just grabbed her was a total surprise. It was so strong and fiery. 

In her dreams there was more. In her dreams he kissed her all night. In her dreams he caressed her and whispered in her ear. In her dreams they made love until the morning light. But that really wasn't possible now, was it, because early morning light and Spike weren't best of friends. 

Still…she could almost feel his lips on her mouth now and it was driving her crazy. It was crazy, and passionate, and…she couldn't think about it now. Not with everything else going on.

Buffy snapped out of the little daydream that was playing over and over in her head. She showered, got dressed, and headed down to the kitchen.

Willow was in the kitchen making tea and staring listlessly out the window when Buffy approached her.

"Quiet in here…where is everyone?"

Willow, looking a little disheveled, turned around and saw Buffy .

"Oh…hey Buffy. Dawn went to school; the others are out back training. Kennedy is working with them on their fighting skills again."

"And Giles?"

Willow avoided eye contact with her; she turned back to her tea.

"He left…last night, after…you know. I tried to talk to him, but he just left. He probably just needed to go somewhere… you know…to think."

Buffy offered a forced smile to Willow and said nothing else on the matter. She knew Giles, and knew that he would be back at some point. He probably would even give up on trying to kill Spike, but she also knew that his coming back would have nothing to do with her. When he came back it would be to battle. He would play his part just as everyone else would…their relationship could be dealt with later. He had been so much more than a watcher these past years- like a father, a friend, and a teacher all in one- but he crossed the line this time and he knew it.

"Anything left to eat Wil, or did our ravenous potentials clean us out again"

Willow turned around smiled brightly at Buffy.

"They almost did…I saved you a bagel!"

As Willow reached into the cupboard and pulled out a paper bag with a bagel inside Buffy couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Has it really come to this? Hiding food in my own home!"

Buffy and Willow were still laughing at the table when Spike walked into the kitchen. 

"Hope there's something left in there for me to nibble at," he said with a smirk as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette.

Buffy blushed slightly at his comment, but went back to her plain bagel. 

"Lucky for you blood is not the preferred menu choice of potential slayers in training," Willow said as she reached into the fridge and pulled out a quart of pigs' blood and put it on the counter.

Buffy grimaced… "Ewwe, are we keeping that in with the food now. Maybe it's time we clean out the fridge."

Willow only smiled a little, opening the refrigerator door a little wider revealing that it was completely empty save for a few quarts of blood and an arm and hammer baking soda box that appeared to be about 10 years old.

They all started laughing at this point. As their laughter died down Buffy and Spike maid eye contact and there was utter silence. It was a somewhat uncomfortable silence, and it was obvious that there was something personal going on with Buffy and Spike. Willow took this as her cue to leave.

"I…uh…I better go back to my books. I have some research on the first that I need to do, because, you know…we need more info…and I have to just…I'll just stop talking and go now.

After a moment alone Buffy continued to stare at Spike, but it was clear that neither knew what to say.

"We don't need to talk about it Spike…it was …"

"Don't say it was a mistake, love, cause it wasn't. I meant it. I needed that and so did you, and it was a long time coming, it was."

"You don't understand…"

"Oh I do understand, I understand how they see me around here. The new girls, not so much, cause they don't really know the story between us love, but Willow, Xander…they look at me different. They look down on me. I'm just crazy Spike now, crazy Spike with a soul."

"Spike!" Buffy was on the verge of furious now. How could she ever think she could explain anything to this man? He infuriated her, He frustrated her, and he drove her crazy. She thought back to her dreams, and the way she felt this morning and it just made her more angry. 

"That is not what I was going to say!"

"What is it then, you worried I'll spread it around? Embarrassed? Don't worry I won't tell a soul." Spike tossed his cigarette out of the window and grabbed that plastic pint of pigs' blood. He was lifting up the lid and getting ready to drink when Buffy started to storm out of the room.

"What I was going to say was 'It was wonderful'. It was a great kiss and I didn't want to ruin it. But you did that just fine, didn't you."

Buffy stormed out of the kitchen-leaving spike dumbfounded. He put the cover back on the blood and put it on the counter "It's too bloody cold anyway," he said, and chased after Buffy as she headed up the stairs to her room.

"Buffy…wait!"


	3. Betrayed part 1

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Writers Notes: I have made some slight changes in the first four chapters, mostly grammatical though so they shouldn't make much of a difference in the story line. Feel free to let me know what you think. Reviews are much appreciated!

While Spike was trying to talk to Buffy in the House, Willow was on her way to see Giles.

He told Willow where he would be the night before. He rented a room in one of those cheap motels on the other side of town.

After stopping at the check in desk Willow knocked on the door of room 106 and waited anxiously for Giles to open. 

"I've gotten everything we need. Are you sure you can do this Willow? I don't want to force you. You're going to need your strength soon."

"I'll be fine Giles, no worries. My magic is getting to be less…iffy lately."

"Please…come in." He looked around outside for a moment before walking back inside the room and locking the door. 

"You're sure we're not going to hurt anyone Giles because if I hurt Spike, Buffy will…well, lets just say it won't be pretty."

"We're not going to hurt anyone. You can see for your self…how is she? Did she say anything?"

"She asked about you, but otherwise…no. I'm sure she's worried, but with Spike…"

"Spike? Did he go back to the house? He's unbelievable, after everything…"

"Giles…I think she went looking for him. I didn't say anything to her about it but I heard her leave in the middle of the night and when she came back, he was with her. She loves him. You can't change that."

"Why, yes…yes of course, I know that. But we can at least try to make her see who he really is."

"So what was it you had in mind?"

****

Back at the house Buffy and Spike were still arguing. They were in her room now going back and forth with their retorts. 

"Why did you have to kiss me anyway?" Buffy said as she turned and faced him. "I was doing just fine with all of this. I understand you went through hell with Robyn, but that doesn't give you the right to just go around kissing people!"

"Oh, on a first name basis now, are we pet. Fine, you can pretend that you didn't love having my lips on yours. That you didn't love every second of it, but don't you mention his name to me!"

"Do you think that you have the right to be jealous now!" What was she doing…she didn't give a shit about Robyn. This needed to end. The hopeless arguing, it didn't make sense.

"Jealous! The man tried to kill me! Would you like us to be best friends now then?"

"Okay, Spike, let's just stop. This is not what I wanted. I did enjoy kissing you, I mean I really enjoyed kissing you, it's all I've been…anyway, what I'm trying to say was it was great, but it can't happen again. Besides, I told Robyn if he tried to hurt you again I would let you kill him."

Spike threw his hands up in exasperation. "You did then. So what is your problem Slayer? You obviously want me. I don't get it. Why do you want to play the tortured bit now."

"Spike, it's a little bit more complicated then that now. Can't you see that? We've got a house full of wannabe slayers, there's an impending apocalypse…again. I can't do this to myself."

"Do what to yourself, love?" Spike grabbed a hold of Buffy and looked straight into her eyes. "What are you afraid of?"

"I…don't know" their faces got closer and closer with every moment. Buffy caught her breath… "Spike"

"Shhhhh" He said and placed his lips on hers. This was a much softer kiss than the one last night. Buffy's heart was racing. After a very long kiss Spike pulled away and in a soft voice asked, "So what is it then pet? What are you afraid of?"

Buffy said nothing she only threw her arms around him and started kissing him fiercely. What was she afraid of anyway. She did love him. Everyone knew that. There wasn't really anything left to hide. Was she worried about getting hurt? She was hurting now without him anyway. Whatever else that came after…she would deal.

With a lustful smile on his face Spike lifted Buffy against the wall. She wrapped her legs around him as they continued to kiss passionately. This was so long in the waiting that they were both hungry for each other. Buffy was in agony with her desire, and Spike in agony trying to keep his restraint. It was all he could do to keep from ripping her clothes off that very second. He wanted to hold off though. To make this moment last. It's been so long, he was thinking, time to show the girl what she's been missing.

He teased her a bit. Biting and tugging at her earlobe and her neck. Not too hard though. Don't want to hurt her. His body was aching, but still he held back. He would make this last forever if he could.

They were kissing and caressing each other as if for the first time. Every touch was new and exciting. In the back of her mind Buffy was thinking, this was not good for the mission- but she stopped herself. What about what's good for her. She's been worrying about the whole world for so long that she didn't have time to worry about herself. Besides, she wanted this. For so long, she needed this.

This was like a culmination of the dreams she'd been having coming true. Every night as she lay in her bed alone, this is what she thought of. It was perfect. His kisses, his touches, they were just right. She held her legs tight against him holding on for dear life. If only this could last, if only…

All of a sudden the earth started to shake. For a moment Buffy thought she was imagining it. Then Spike pulled back, "What the bloody hell?" He helped her to her feet, and then the whole house was shaking fiercely. 

It took Buffy a second to take in all that was happening. She didn't want to stop what she was doing. Didn't want to let go of Spike, but this would have to wait. It always had to wait. 

Spike was cursing under his breath. If only he hadn't held back. If he hadn't been so greedy for her touch they would've been naked and in bed by now. But no, he didn't regret it. He was throbbing, hurting from need of her body, but he knew his time would come, soon. 

"We've got to go check on the girls," Buffy yelled over the noise as she headed for the door. Then all of a sudden she turned around to Spike.

"Spike…I feel a little bit… funny."

"I do too, what the…."

In an instant the earthquake stopped and they both passed out to the floor.

****

__

On the other side of town

"Do you think it worked Willow?" Giles said as he stood up from the circle in which they had been sitting to pick up some items that had fallen to the floor during the earthquake. The shaking had just begun to slow down. 

"I guess we'll find out soon enough."


	4. Betrayed part 2

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Writers Notes: I have made some slight changes in the first four chapters, mostly grammatical though so they shouldn't make much of a difference in the story line. Feel free to let me know what you think. Reviews are much appreciated!

Buffy blinked her eyes a few times, unaware of her surroundings. She was confused and had no idea where she was or what had happened. Her environment was unfamiliar and hazy. All of a sudden she started having visual flashes…Drusilla was kissing her, no…wait…Harmony she was on top of Harmony… "Oh yes Spikey!" Harmony screamed, as Buffy felt dizzy and muddled. She didn't understand…it was Spike. 

Somehow she was inside of Spike's head…seeing his life before her eyes. She could feel everything inside of him. The hate, the evil, the lust. It was all there but she couldn't control any of it. She was like a passenger in the backseat of a car watching his life through his eyes. She could see it from all angles as visions from his past flashed before her. Then all of a sudden it stopped and became focused.

He was human. She could feel his heart beating as he watched a girl from across the room. She didn't recognize her, but then…she wouldn't would she. This was his life. She could only wonder for a moment on how she had gotten there because It all happened quickly…in flashes- like a dreamlike state, she almost didn't understand what was happening from one second to the next. 

The girl, a pretty girl, was approaching her…him. "Your beneath me William," hadn't she been the one to say that to Spike? Had someone else? All of a sudden she could feel the pain in his heart. She could feel it breaking…the emptiness that surrounded her was unbearable.

Then there was Dru. Spike was being made. She felt the pain and pleasure as Drusilla bit deep into Spike's core. She tasted the blood as he drank from the evil temptresses body. She felt the change. He was becoming. She felt his heart stop beating as his body filled with evil.

She felt the power inside of his body grow as he killed more and more. "You want to take your mummy with us?" She heard Dru say. Then Spike turned his mother…he was hurting, but he was happy. He wanted her with him always. She could feel it all inside of him…then when he killed her, he killed the demon that his mother had become. She could feel his anguish. 

"Oh God…Spike"

Then all of a sudden there was a war around her. Where was she? She didn't know. He was fighting a young woman. She was strong as she pushed him down. He got to his feet quickly and through another blow at her. They were fighting back and forth. All of a sudden Buffy understood. Boxers Rebellion, this was the Slayer he was fighting. He killed her and Buffy could feel Spike's body grow tight. It had turned him on. The kill made him feel stronger. Buffy couldn't bear it.

Spike was making love to Drusilla. Fiercely riding her body in an ardent wave as Drusilla shouted out insane prophesies. Buffy couldn't stand it. The feelings he was having were so bizarre. He hated, loved, loathed, and lusted after Dru all at once. How could this be possible? 

Buffy watched as women attempted to seduce Spike. They practically threw themselves at him. Each woman, different…different cultures, different eras, different ways of dress…yet all the same. They would smile at him from across crowded rooms or empty streets it didn't matter. She could see the look of lust in their eyes as they stared into Spike's eyes. They practically begged for it as Spike drank from them.

She watched through his eyes as he killed hundreds, no…thousands of young girls. She felt their blood surge through his body one by one. One after another, through different decades and eras.

She flashed at once to a familiar surrounding. She…no he, was in the Bronze looking out to the dance floor. Through his eyes she saw herself dancing. He was watching her, as his body filled with hate and lust. 

Next he was in an alley. He watched her fighting, laughing as he did as though watching a great play on a stage. 

Buffy was feeling nauseous from all the spinning in Spike's head. She watched as Spike stalked her. Following her in the night, standing outside her home, watching her sleep through her window. She could feel the insanity and rage in him as he plotted ways of killing her. Every evil plan he ever concocted, she could now see clearly.

Then she saw Riley through Spike's eyes. The initiative grabbing hold of him. The fear that raced through Spike's body. The hurt after the chip was inserted into his brain. Spike was in pain, all the time. 

He tried to attack someone but it sent a wave of hurt through his brain…through her brain. Buffy was crying, but there was no room inside Spike's head for tears. 

She could hear herself shout harsh words to him. Feel how it hurt him and angered him. It would seem that he was torn between hate and love for a long time.

She felt it as Spike began to love her. She had hurt his feelings…but at the time she didn't care, didn't even know how hurt feelings felt to a vampire.

She felt inside of Spike's body the first time they kissed. He was changing inside. Some of the darkness was gone. She felt his love for her grow as he fought his urge to want to kill her. The lust was overpowering the hate. She didn't' understand what the conflictions in his heart were.

She felt the moment his soul entered his body. Felt the anguish, the intense confusion and pain as guilt overthrew all other emotions. 

She felt something fill Spike's unbeating heart. As he watched her in her home. All the ways he looked at her. He did love her. He loved her more than anything. His soul was filled with love for her, but he was so hungry. Hungry for human blood despite the guilt his soul was feeding him. She felt the confliction as he was torn between helping the potentials and tearing them apart. She felt his mouth water every time he was near one. The constant battle between his soul and his demon.

Buffy was scared. She felt drained and alone inside his dead body. 

**********

"Don't you think we ought to go check up on her?" Willow said to Giles as she grabbed her jacket off of the small dirty couch in his motel room. "She'll be waking up soon, and she'll be all confused."

"Yes…uh…You go on ahead Willow. I'm not sure that my presence will do more but to upset her."

"What?" Willow angrily turned around to face Giles with a look of disbelief on her face.

"Oh no Giles…you are coming with me. Buffy is not going to be happy when she wakes up and I don't think that it will take too long for her to figure out more or less what happened. You can't dump this on me!"

"You're right, of course…I…Let me get my jacket."

**********

"Spike!" Buffy screamed as she sat up on the floor from where she was passed out. She looked around her, puzzled by what had happened, but she remembered it all. She could still feel the emptiness inside of her as if it were her own.

On the other side of the room was Spike, laid out face down on the floor. Buffy turned him on to his back and caressed his face.

"Oh God, Spike." She whispered to him as she looked down on his deceptively angelic face. "How come you never told me?" She said, as she stroked the scar above his eye with her thumb. 

She moved down to kiss his lips when suddenly he opened his eyes. 

Spike growled as he vamped out and pushed Buffy off of him. He looked at her for a moment with hate in his eyes before running out the bedroom door.

(TBC…)


	5. At A Loss

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Writers Notes: I have made some slight changes in the first four chapters, mostly grammatical though so they shouldn't make much of a difference in the story line. Feel free to let me know what you think. Reviews are much appreciated!

It was still daylight out when Spike ran out of the Slayer's room. Although night was coming he couldn't wait the few hours it would take for total darkness to prevail. He hastily grabbed a throw blanket off of the sofa in the living room and headed for the sewer tunnels. 

Spike hit the streets resting every few feet or so below a tree here and there, grateful for the mediocre shade they provided his sizzling body. Someone would stop and stare every few houses or so. Mostly older people sitting on their porches, bewildered by the pale man covered with a blanket on this pleasant day. They weren't scared though…they knew the bad ones in Sunnydale mostly came out at night. 

Spike paid them no mind as it was. He didn't really like old people. He'd never be old himself. Not that it was something he wanted, just another thing that the bloody demon in him wouldn't allow. It hadn't ever mattered before. Those he cared about in the past would stay with him forever, or so he thought. They were of his kind. Now he was being punished. Watching as everyone around him grew older. Even Dawn, the little bit, she had changed so much in the last few years he could hardly recognize her. Can't think of that now though. Got to get to the dark. Need the dark.

It was so fucking hot! Was hell this hot? He wondered to himself as he moved from corner to corner until he finally came upon a manhole. In one quick sweep he lifted the cover and jumped in, not bothering to put the lid back on as he entered. Can't risk the burn now, especially since he made it this far.

Spike wandered the endless tunnels for hours. He'd known them like the back of his hand and wished, for once, that he could just get lost in them. That wasn't really possible at this point though. So on he roamed until he came upon a small alcove that he remembered vaguely. In it were some milk crates, which he pulled out to make a seat for himself.

As the Slayer had caught the show of his "greatest hits" Spike was on a different wave of consciousness. Although he saw everything same as she did, his peep show came with a voice over. He thought the First had taken him under its' wing again to continue it's mission to drive him crazy. 

Every moment of it hurt. Especially the segments of his mind that were filled with Buffy. As he watched her, for the first time…again…the voice kept telling her, "You think you deserve her you fool? You're a monster?" 

"Shut up!" he tried to say, "stop it!" but the voice only laughed at that. Mimicking him… "oooh, shut up you say. That's harsh Spikey." 

As he felt himself kill again the voice was tormenting him. "Make you hungry, does it? What would you do for a taste Spike? One little taste?"

Pathetic Spike. Pathetic Spike with his pitiable soul. All the pain! The Hunger!

The voice plagued him through the whole damn mind trip. He knew he recognized it, but it took him a while before he realized who it was. 

"No more pain!" He screamed. An echo filled the tunnel, it was an alarming sound. So loud and resonant. His words bounced off of every wall. Spike reached his hands over his ears and held them tight.

If anyone had seen him at that moment they would have thought him mad for sure. "Not really a first though mate," he said out loud as he let out an unsettling cackle which once again echoed all around him. "I am bloody mad."

Around him the memories kept replaying, strong and vivid memories of killing and feeding, and mating. Then came a moment of clarity. What was it the boy had said? It wasn't his time yet? What if this was part of the plan? Was this just the first pulling him apart so that he could become its' bitch again?

Spike was spinning in a wave of confusion and emotion. He jumped up and kicked the shit out of the milk crate he had been sitting on. He turned around fiercely and punched a hole into the brick wall behind him. 

"What about Buffy?" He thought aloud. What must she think? His last vision, before waking out of that strange dream state had been of her. He was making love to her while the voice…his voice…kept telling him over and over that it was all a dream. "She can never really love you Spike," it said. "It was a game to her. You were a toy. A toy that she played with. She'll kill you. She will Spike, she will kill you." When he opened his eyes and saw her above him he had freaked. Now look where he was, with no clue as to what to do.

**********

It was night already as Buffy sat with Willow and Giles in the living room.

"It was like I was inside his head," she said to them, "but I wasn't only watching. I could FEEL everything as if it was my life. The killing, the torture…everything he did. I felt it."

"I imagine that must have been awful for you Buffy," Giles said as he looked towards Willow for encouragement."

"right…ugh…awful. And gross, I mean…it must have been…gross. Tasting the blood and stuff," Willow stuttered as she looked down to the floor.

"It was kind of…gross, I guess, but not like you would think. I felt- or he felt- powerful as he drank. Evil. I guess it's been a while since I see Spike all…evil."

"Yes, well…It might do everyone some good to keep that in mind. He was a very evil creature for quite a long time Buffy. Maybe it was good you be reminded of that. Especially since you've been extremely sympathetic towards him of late."

"Giles! Stop that. I do not need to hear this right now. What I need to do is figure out what exactly happened to me…and Spike…in there." She yelled as she pointed up the stairs towards her room. "Plus…I have to find Spike and figure out what's wrong with him. We have no idea what he's going through right now."

********** 

Spike was walking through one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries with a large, near empty, bottle of Whisky in his hand. He nearly stumbled over a tombstone with the words, "We love you mama" engraved at the top, with a small angel engraved near the bottle. "That's beautiful," he slurred as he continued on.

He walked by a large crypt when he heard a voice scream out from inside of it. It was a girl screaming, "HEEEEEELP!!! PLEEEEASE!"

"Oh great…I'm drunk, I feel like shit, and I've got to be the one to save the world tonight. I hate this job."

Spike took one last swig from the whisky bottle and started to toss the empty glass to the side, but then thought better of it. He walked towards the crypt with the bottle and entered in an exaggerated swagger.

"Hello booooyzz," he slurred as he looked around to assess the situation. Four vamps that he could see. He walked a little further in to see a large burly one holding the girl up by the throat against the far side of the crypt. 

"Who the fuck are you," a wimpy looking vamp to his left shouted out as he entered further into the crypt.

"Am I interrupting something?" He said as he turned towards the wimpy one and vamped out with a wicked grin on his contorted face… "I was just looking for a little fun is all," he said as he shattered the bottle, which he still held, and used it as a weapon against him. 

He ran towards the burly one holding the girl and punched him in the face. Once he had let go of the girl spike continued to kick him until he fell to the ground. He ran towards the other two and punched them both until they stumbled back. He reached into his duster and pulled out a stake dusting them one after another. When he turned around there where 6 more vamps walking into the crypt, in addition to Wimpy and Burly. Spike was in serious shit and he knew it.

"Bloody hell," he mumbled, as he ran in front of the girl to attempt to protect her. He was surrounded though and needed to think of something quick.

(TBC) 


	6. See

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Spike threw a roundhouse kick to knock down two of the vamps that had just walked in. With the stake still in his hand he dusted one of the new ones that had just come in after. He turned to find wimpy vamp behind him trying to take the girl out of the crypt. 

Knocking him out of the way he grabbed her arm and ran out, pulling her so hard he nearly ripped her arm out of the socket. They ran as far as they could before the girl was out of breath. He turned to be sure there was no-one close behind them before speaking.

"Call me crazy, bit, but I'm interested in knowing why those nasty's back there were playing instead of biting."

The girl, completely out of breath, looked up at him in confusion. She looked around worriedly before looking back at him, "what? I don't…"

"Those vampires, they weren't eating you. If there wasn't something special about you girl you would have been dinner by now. With the small army of dim-wits they had lined up, I'd figure that someone wanted you alive."

"Why aren't you? I saw your face…you're a vam…"

"I'm a little bit different, I am- enough with the small talk though. We're going to have to get moving again, else they'll catch up us. I'd just like to know what it is I'm dealing with before I play superhero." 

The girl searched his eyes to be sure she could believe him. Satisfied she replied, "You are different. I see it."

"You see what then?" He said, slightly exasperated- slightly confused.

She waited a long moment before replying, "Your soul." 

Spike looked back at her confused and mistrusting. He grabbed her arm again and didn't run this time. He walked with her quickly until he reached the cemetery exit before letting go of her hand.

**********

Buffy and Willow walked all over Sunnydale to no avail. They checked everyplace they could think of twice but couldn't find him. Finally, after hours of pointless walking they started heading back to the house.

"Don't worry Buffy, he'll be back," Willow said, noticing the wounded look on her friend's face. 

"I know Wil…it's just…after what happened this morning everything is all fuzzy. I have no idea what he's going through right now- after reliving his past. I mean- he totally freaked…it was like…maximum freakage. I've never seen him like that, even when he was evil.

"Maybe it was just a lot to handle…you know…going through his past, seeing ex girlfriends and stuff…the people he killed. Maybe he just couldn't deal right away."

"That's true I guess, but what if he didn't see the same thing I did? How do we know he wasn't visiting my past? God…he'd see me with Angel, and Riley…what if…"

"You don't know that Buffy! Stop with the 'what if's' until you know what happened. He'll come back, you'll see."

Willow stopped talking as they approached the house. She was looking at something in the distance. Buffy turned her head away from her face to see what she was looking at when she noticed a girl sitting on the steps in front of her house. 

She wasn't one she had seen before, not one of the potentials. She was pretty, and a little bit older then the potentials were, maybe in her mid twenties. She had long black curly hair down to her waist, sun tanned skin, and was wearing black leather pants and a tight red shirt. As Buffy moved closer and past the shrubbery that was in the way she noticed Spike sitting next to her smiling. He was smiling! He had run from her, but with this black haired chick he was smiling!

"What's going on Spike? I was worried…but it looks like you're doing alright."

Spike stood up abruptly either not getting the innuendo, or choosing to ignore it. Buffy, this is Nicky. I heard her screaming in the cemetery and found her as she was being attacked by a group of Vampires. It looked like they were preparing for some kind of ritual or something."

"That would explain all the…happy face," Buffy mumbled as she faced Nicole's direction. The bitch had beautiful green eyes too. Okay Jealousy…stop! She thought to herself. This girl was in trouble and he saved her. No big. This kind of stuff happens all the time.

"What did they want with you?"

Sensing Buffy's animosity Nicky looked down. "Please don't think badly of me." 

"I don't…" Buffy started, a bit impatiently, until Spike interrupted, "She has the sight Buffy."

"The sight? What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that she can read your mind. She can sense things about people…read their emotions and the like…sort of like…"

"Drusilla," Buffy interjected, completing his sentence for him as she was haunted by her vision from earlier in the day as she was forced to watch him make love to Dru.

"Wow," Willow interjected, "that might actually be really helpful right now…with the first…she could try to read…"

"That's who we think was after her, Red. I think it was trying to get her to read you Buffy," he said as he looked up at her with concern.

"Why aren't you guys inside then, unless it makes sense to you to be outdoors in plain view when you're being hunted down by the first evil," she said- Glaring at Spike in the in the interim. 

"Right then love. She was getting a headache from all the girls whining about in there -and the boy was trying to use her for some kind of circus show. We came out for a minute so she could clear her head. I'm here for… protection. You're right though. We should go in," he said as he nodded to Nicky. 

Willow walked in after him turning back and half smiling at Nicky, half frowning at Buffy. Nicky grabbed Buffy's arm as they were heading in the front door. 

"You have to let him in Buffy," she whispered, as she looked ahead to be sure she wasn't being heard. "The only way you can win is if you let go of ALL of your fears…you have to tell him…or he will die."

(TBC)


	7. Identity

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Writers Notes: I know that this chapter has been really long in the waiting, but I just finished my last final today and will be able to focus on the more "important" things! Thank you for your patience. I love to hear what you think… Reviews are much appreciated- and very much desired! 

It did actually look like a circus when Buffy walked into her living room. There were people everywhere. Potentials, whose names she couldn't even remember, were surrounding her. Andrew was back at his easel drawing something that looked like a care bear with its head sliced off and a line drawn through it.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked him, as she walked in to take a closer look at his picture.

"We got a little bored and stuff so I decided to talk to them about wearwolfs…and how we don't kill them cause they're really people… but not to let them too close or they'll turn you. I'm being very instructive." He smiled, obviously very proud of himself and his initiative. "We thought about making smores, but there weren't any marshmallow's…or chocolate…or graham cookies…"

Buffy rolled her eyes at him and turned back to the group.

"Okay guys, looks like we have a new houseguest. This is Nicky. We're going to try to figure out what it is that's after her and how to kill it." Buffy walked towards the couch and sat on the armrest being that all the seats were filled. One of the potentials got up and sat on the floor to give Nicky a seat. "So Nicky, tell us what happened." 

Everyone stared up at her attentively as she told her story. How she had been kidnapped from just outside her home in L.A. and brought to Sunnydale in a darkened van. The vamps brought her to the cemetery to perform some kind of ritual, but she wasn't sure what it was. She talked about her "gift" and explained that she didn't start "seeing" until she turned sixteen, but that she later learned that her mother had it as well- as did her grandmother. 

"Did they say anything to you…the vamps? Did you hear them say anything about the ritual…or uh…what it was they were trying to do?" Willow asked, leaning in closer with a look of serious resolve on her face.

"They didn't really talk too much. One of them kept talking about how he was hungry though. One of the bigger ones pulled him to the side and told him that Nedda would kill him if he tried. That was all though."

"Nedda?" Buffy asked, "Willow, Giles…that sound familiar to either one of you?"

"No," Giles responded, "but we will start looking right away of course. This…uh…Nedda person…Nicky is it? Did you get the idea that it was a human, or a demon, any sort of indication?" He asked as he removed his glasses from his face and pulled handkerchief from his back pocket to wipe them clean, as he often did when he was getting into research mode.

"I'm not lying!" She shouted as she stood up as she glared at Giles from across the room.

"I never said…" Giles stuttered as Nicky interjected. "You don't have to SAY," she responded. "I see your mind working. You think I'm making this up. That's it's all part of some plan. I didn't ask to be brought here and I have no idea what the hell the first is…so everyone please get that out of your mind! 

"I…I'm sorry. I…um…I don't like when people think I'm lying. It gives me an icky kind of vibe…especially…well…I just…don't like it. I'm sorry. I know you're trying to help me. And I know you all wonder what it is that I "see". And…No…I can't hear your thoughts Buffy…I just KNOW what you're thinking."  
  
"And the difference being, pet?" Spike asked.

"I don't hear words. I just feel emotion. I FEEL it and I see where it will lead. It's not always clear…not like I can predict the future…but I can see the path."  
  
"Okay…now that makes a lot more sense." Buffy turned around and talked to the whole group. "Okay, it's getting late. Maybe we should all turn in. Dawn..can you see if you can find a place for Nicky to sleep. Willow, Giles…if you don't mind I think we should start our research-y thing in the morning. I'm kind of pooped."

Buffy headed up to her room in silence.

********** 

It was late that night and spike lie in his bed in the basement. His mind was a jumble of thoughts and memories. All that he had been trough in one day felt like a hundred years of his existence.

There was a knock on the door and it creaked as it slowly opened. Spike saw the feet as they came down the stairs hesitantly. Interested, he cocked his head to the side to get a better view.

"Can I help you?" He asked as Nicky moved in and sat next to him on his bed. She took his face into her hands and looked deep I to his eyes."

"Yes…you can help me…but I can help you too."

(TBC) 


	8. sleepless in sunnydale

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Nicky held Spike's face in her hands and looked deep into his eyes. Spike was somewhat uncomfortable with her probing look and finally pulled back. "What is it you're trying to see? I thought Vampire's couldn't be read?"

"Oh, that's not true," Nicky responded with a somewhat sly smile. "You can't always see everything, like the no reflection thing, but I'm not seeing what exists inside your mind Spike. I see what lives inside your soul."

"Why does it matter to you then?" Spike stood up grabbing the black t-shirt that was strewn across a fold out chair near his bed and pulling it over his head to protect his lean, muscular body from her eccentric stare. "I just don't see why you're so ready to help me," he said suspiciously.

"You didn't know me…and you helped me." She smiled. "Besides, I couldn't sleep. There's something…off…in this house." Nicky stood up and started walking around the confined basement. Looking at everything around her as she spoke. 

She picked up a sheet off of the stack of cleaned linens and lifted it to her face as she inhaled its scent. "I sense it..around me, something's wrong…but I can't tell where exactly it's coming from- or what it is." Nicky abruptly put the clean sheet back down on the pile haphazardly turning intently to face Spike again, "But you…I could feel your hurting all the way from the second floor. What happened to you ?"

Spike reluctantly began his story. He told Nicky of the "vision" he had of his past. He told her every detail he could remember, and as he told his story he closed his eyes- it was like reliving it again. Nicky held her hands on his temples, feeling his anguish and his pain. She could see what he saw…saw the connection between him and Buffy- and knew the role he must play. 

The future flashed before her in flickers- like frames in a film not really connected. She saw the prophesy of the Vampire with a soul, the one everyone thought would be fulfilled through Angel…she didn't know Angel…but she knew of him…and it was wrong, they all had it wrong. It wasn't Angel. He was wrong. It was Spike…it was always Spike, he just didn't know it and they wouldn't see it.

**********

Upstairs Willow was in bed, eyes wide open looking at Kennedy who lay with her arm around her and head on her chest. Willow's mind was a mess. She was regretting what she and Giles had done, and fearful about having Nicky in the house. She didn't trust her, and she was also scared that Nicky would see what she and Giles had done. With a heavy sigh she finally closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**********

Buffy was dreaming.

__

Spike lifted Buffy into his arms and carried her to a bed covered in rose petals. The fragrance of the flowers was strong and filled her head. He kissed her tenderly and whispered "I love you Buffy" into her ear. 

**********

Spike's vision was still flashing before Nicky's eyes when suddenly it changed. There was something changing. She could see a shadow of a woman standing outside a crypt. It was the crypt Spike had rescued her from. It was all wrong…Spike could see it too. 

The dark clad figure stood tall against the crypt in anger, her face was indistinguishable but something in her body language made it obvious that she was angry…no…furious. She took one of the vampires near to her and ripped its' head off with her bare hands in anger.

"Now," Nedda roared to the remaining demons, "you see what happens when you FUCK UP!!!!" The demons around her quaked in fear. "It's nearly morning now you pathetic morons! We'll have to wait until tomorrow night to find her!"

**********

Buffy's dream was becoming more vivid. 

__

Her and Spike's bodies were entwined as they held on to each other as if for dear life. Nicky's words played back in her head, "you have to tell him…or he will die." 

Buffy tried. She kissed him and held him and tried to speak, but she choked on the words. She knew this was the moment, she knew this was the moment that counted, "…Spike..you know I care for you…I…" _Suddenly the sunlight shining through the window on them that was un-harming a moment before began to burn Spike. Smoke was slowly rising from his body as he looked up at Buffy with a look of hurt and confusion on his face…_

__

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spike please….Spiiiiiiike!!!!!!!!!!

**********

Spike and Nicky looked up as they heard Buffy screaming his name out. Nicky grabbed Spike by the arm and shoved him towards the stairs. "Now!" She yelled at him. "She's ready for you now…go to her."

"Nedda," he said…"she was…" 

"Not now," Nicky yelled, frustrated. "This is your only chance." 

Spike was slightly bewildered. He looked at Nicky briefly before turning and heading up the stairs towards Buffy's room. 

(TBC)


	9. At Last

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

By the time Spike reached Buffy she had stopped screaming. She was still sleeping, but tears were falling from her eyes. He sat down on her bed beside her and softly put his hand to her face to wipe the tears from her eyes looking at her intently as he did.

"Spike?" Buffy asked, confused, as her eyelids slowly fluttered open. "Spike," she whimpered now, almost not believing that he was really there. "I…I thought you were…"She broke down into tears and reached her arms around him to embrace him, holding on as if for dear life as she collapsed against his body with a sigh." 

"What is it love," he asked, as he ran his hand through her touseled hair. "Everything is alright. It was a dream, pet," he whispered, trying to calm her shaking.

"I couldn't…I didn't…" Buffy reached up and placed her lips on Spike's in a tender kiss. As she pulled back she looked at him for a moment before speaking, "I'm just glad you're here." 

She pulled him into another kiss as she ran her hands through his platinum curls, her grip in his hair tightening as their kiss became more intense. 

Confused, Spike pulled back a moment. "Buffy," he whispered, "are you alright?"

"I am now," she replied pulling him towards her once more. 

His mind was a flutter with all that had happened of late. After all the pain and torment he had been through in the last few days this was the only thing that made sense to him. Having this woman in his arms was all he ever dreamed of and more. She was the force that drove him, the only thing that made his existence okay. Without her he was just dead.

Spike caressed her body in a fever slipping his hands beneath her nightshirt and feeling the warmth her body exuded, savoring the feel of her silky flesh against his cool hands.

Buffy hastily grabbed at his t-shirt shirt, tearing it off of his body in one swift movement and tossing it across the room. She ran her hands over his chest, playing with the ripples between his well-defined muscles. 

It seemed like it had been ages since she'd been here. She knew every scar on his body, every ripple, every taste. Being with him now was like coming home. She hadn't felt this sure of anything in a long time.

Spike lowered his lips to her neck, feeling her pulse beneath his lips as he savored the taste of her skin. Feeling as though he might lose control he moved back to her mouth hungrily taking her in as he slipped the thin straps of her shirt down her arms, revealing her supple flesh. 

Spike was in heaven. He knew he didn't deserve it, knew that he'd done too much in his existence that would prevent him from this happiness, but he was here- with the woman he loved, and he wouldn't question her reasons, he wouldn't deny himself this moment again.

Buffy tugged at his pants, fumbling with the button until she finally released him from his denim enclosure. Losing her patience, she brought her pajama shorts down herself pulling him on top of her. "Don't make me wait any longer Spike, please," she pleaded, as she positioned herself below him.

Spike needed no more convincing, he slowly entered her body- relishing the pure delight in feeling her wrapped tight against him.

Slowly they made love, for the first time. They had had sex before, yes, but this was the first time they made love. 

Buffy called Spike's name with every thrust into her body, his rhythmic movement bringing her over the edge of excitement and pleasure- his tenderness bringing her to the brink of delight.

Spike kissed her lips tenderly as he continued to stroke her body. Buffy was in an arch of desire, her nails digging into his back as she rocked her body beneath him. 

"Spike," she called out as she dug her fingernails even deeper into his skin, "please…"

"Patience love," he whispered, as he smiled provocatively at her.

"I can't…please Spike…please…"

"What is it you want, pet?" he teased.

"Please! She screamed wrapping her legs tight around his torso, forcing his thrust to reach deep inside her." 

Spike couldn't help the smile that tugged at his face. He couldn't stop this feeling if he wanted to.

He began to pick up the pace, rocking his body in a frenzy as she leaned her head back-her face a picture of total bliss, her breathing heavy, and her body soaked in their lovemaking. 

In one final thrust he exploded inside of her finally resting as he lay his head on her chest. Quietly, without a word, they lay there together until they both fell asleep.

**********

In the basement Nicky was lying on Spike's bed- Eyes closed, a smile of delight on her face.

TBC 


	10. Identity part 2

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

It was early the next morning when Spike headed out of Buffy's room, trying to reach the basement without anyone seeing him. Not that HE minded anyone knowing what had gone on between them, he just wasn't sure how she felt about the whole deal. 

Unfortunately for him it was also the same time Kennedy was leaving Willow's room. She gave him a confused look before heading down the stairs…He was about to say something when she waved her arms up in a "stop" signal. "T M I" she said has she continued to walk down the stairs."

"Excuse me?" he asked as he walked behind her. He wasn't really following her, he just happened to be walking in the same direction. He did, however, feel as though he were chasing after her. 

She paused a moment before turning to face him, "You were going to tell me what you were doing in there and it's T M I…too much information, you know?" She said, turning to face him before adding, "Like a need to know basis…and I DON"T need to know."

He smirked a little as he continued down to the first floor. His goal to keep things between him and Buffy quiet completely vanished once he reached the first floor. Giles was already up and about with old, musty books strewn about him on the coffee table.

"Oh Spike," he said as he gestured for the vampire to come look at what he had in his hands. Kennedy just rolled her eyes at him and headed towards the kitchen. "Buffy…is she up yet? Were you? You were…coming…from…her…room…" Giles cleared his throat nervously before continuing, "yes…well…is she awake?" He asked.

"No…not yet. Should I wake her?"

"No…that won't be necessary at the moment. I think I may have found some detail on this Nedda person. It seems that she's not really a demon from what I've seen in my research. She's an energy source, you see…it's rather complicated though…perhaps I SHOULD wait until everyone is together for this. I'm sure Buffy will want to hear this anyway."

"Buffy will want to hear what?"

They turned to see Buffy walking down the stairs with that "I've just had sex" look on her face.

Buffy's eyes met with Spike's for a moment and a small smile tugged at her lips before she turned to face Giles… "So what is it? This thing I'll want to hear?" Giles tried to ignore the look on her face when all of a sudden…

"Oooh…me too…will I want to hear?" Willow asked before sitting on the long couch. At the sound of her voice Kennedy walked out of the kitchen carrying two cups of tea and handing one to Willow before sitting besides her.

"Yes… of course." Giles removed his glasses from his face and wiped them clean before continuing. "Now that everyone is here.."

"Not everyone," Xander answered as he headed into the room with a bowl of cereal in his hands. "How can it be EVERYONE if I'm not here…why do they always forget the comic relief guy?" He asked no-one in particular before sitting on the floor in front of Willow.

"May I continue?" Giles asked in annoyance before again addressing the group as Xander gave everyone that "What'd I do" face while shrugging his shoulders.

"It seems that Nedda is a person…or part of a person anyway."

"So..what…she's like an arm or something?" Xander asked. Everyone turned to look at him… "What? Like you weren't all thinking the same thing?"

"Not exactly Xander. She is an energy source that becomes a person when called upon. Usually like two parts of the same person. She takes on one part of the person's attributes and the original person…the one who has called upon her…maintains the other attributes."

"Kind of like when I was split personality guy and one part of me was all smooth and suave like and the other part of me was all clumsy?" Xander intervened again.

Everyone turned to look at him again as though he had said something extremely stupid until Giles acknowledged, "yes…actually. It's quite similar in that way."

"Score one for the home team!" Xander yelled.

Rolling his eyes Giles again attempted to complete relaying his findings. "It is also very different," he added. "It seems that Nedda is usually called upon by people with some sort of remarkable power to divide themselves for a time, creating two powerful beings. It's usually used in time of war, or apocalypse. Both powers working together with separate power have more capability than one being with both powers. The effect is temporary but quite compelling."

"So…uh…Giles?" Willow asked, "would Nicky count as a powerful being who might want to divide her power?" 

"That was my thought, yes"

"But why?" Buffy asked.

"I know why," Spike interjected. 

TBC


	11. Unveiled

__

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

They all turned towards Spike, anxiously waiting to hear what it was he thought he knew. He told them about Nicky's late night visit and what he had seen in her mind. He had seen her…Nedda- and she looked exactly like Nicky, or so he thought, but he wasn't exactly sure of what it was he was seeing, then the vision ended and…

"Why didn't you say anything to me?" Buffy asked. 

"I WAS a little busy and all that, pet," he smirked, looking sexy as hell to Buffy, with an eyebrow raised up in defiance. Buffy licked her lips and offered a small smile before averting her eyes down to the floor.

"Busy with what- brooding in the basement?" Xander asked finally noticing Buffy's guilty expression as her cheeks flushed to a bright pink.. "oh gross…why'd I ask?'

"I don't BROOD…that's left to larger foreheaded vampires with a soul." Spike quipped, pouting his lips and again making Buffy blush slightly.

"So…um…sorry to interrupt the pun fest, but…has anyone seen Nicky this morning?" Willow asked.

"She was in the yard a few minutes ago," Kennedy jumped in.

Buffy went out back to get her and try to make sense out of the whole situation, besides- she needed to get out of the room for a minute before the questions came. Luckily this situation would keep them busy for a while.

********** 

"Want to tell me what's going on?" Buffy asked, as Nicky slowly turned to face her. "Not that it isn't fun to try to put the puzzle together, but being that I'm all tied up with an impending apocalypse and stuff I just figured you might want to save me some time."

Nicky simply nodded her head in defeat and walked into the house…heading straight for the living room as she did so. Buffy followed quietly behind.

"I heard you all when I came up the stairs this morning, I didn't stop because I had to think of all the things I did that got me to this place. I guess it's time I tell you all the truth."

"You think?" Xander snapped, softening a bit after seeing the hurt look on her face. "sorry…please, keep on."

"I did call on Nedda. I wanted to divide my power…become two people. I was hoping I could get rid of it."

"Get rid of what?" Xander asked, genuinely curious.

"This… 'power' …I was tired of it…tired of the hurt I see in people, tired of the anger, the pain…I couldn't deal anymore, couldn't help anyone, I just want to be…normal."

Buffy turned to her, obviously angered, "How could you be so irresponsible though, delving into powers you don't even understand, how could…"  
  
"You…of all people, YOU should understand. Not knowing, not remembering what it was like, before having this burden brought on. I didn't ask for this…didn't want it. I just wanted a normal life." Nicky lowered her head.

"So what brought you here then…if that whole story was a lie…what really brought you here?" Giles asked, dumbfounded by the whole situation.

Nicky turned back towards Buffy, "you did. I heard about you…and thought you could help. I never intended for it to be like this. I thought I'd divide, that Nedda would get the power and that you'd kill her, but she was stronger than I thought…had power of her own that I didn't even dream of…she wanted to kill me…I ran…she manipulated those vampires to capture me…by killing me she would keep my power."

"So the earthquake then?" Spike asked, no longer confused…just angry, "it was you that did that to Buffy and me? To make us weak?"

"No…I swear! I had nothing to do with that…it was"

"It was me," Giles finished. Looking toward Buffy, I did it. I wanted you to see…"

"You did it? What…setting up Spike with Wood wasn't enough? You couldn't kill him so you thought you'd torture him- and me too?" Buffy was enraged. "How'd you do it?"

"A spell." Willow was frightened as she spoke. She knew that she was treading on thin ice with this one. She had betrayed Buffy, even if she thought she was doing the right thing. "It was only meant to show you who Spike really was…and is. We never meant to …hurt you, I swear…Giles thought…"

"Oh God Willow, not you too…this is too much to deal with. I can't…can't do this right now. Giles…you find out what we can do to stop Nedda…without hurting Nicky in the process. Spike, come with me…I want you to tell me anything you remember about what you saw…where you found Nicky. You're with me tonight…looks like you're the only one left I can trust," she added as she turned and looked at Willow and Giles with Contempt. 

**********

I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has stuck by this story, and enjoyed and reviewed it. My heart hasn't really been in it much since the Buffy finale but I'm ready to attempt to gather the pieces of my life that have been torn apart. The story is about 75% finished with an ending in sight, for those of you wondering. Thanks again…

-E


	12. Scooby investigations

Giles and Willow were in the living room surrounded by books, they had Dawn and some of the potentials researching as well.

"Ooh, ooh…found something!" Willow looked up at her with a slightly bewildered face when Dawn mumbled, "I am way to excited about this, aren't I?"

"Yes, well…what did you find?" Giles asked, marking the page he was on with a sheet of paper before placing the book he was skimming down on the coffee table.

"It's a ritual of some kind. It hasn't been successfully completed according to the Samarian chronicles. Nedda had been called on for decades and decades being dutiful to her caller on all accounts and blah, blah, blah…successfully completing her tasks and then going back to her place until called upon again."

Giles got up from his seat to look over Dawn's shoulder, now genuinely interested in what she was saying, "please, continue," he asked.

"Okay…so Nedda's been doing her thing for hundreds of years when sometime during World War II she gets called on and tries to take over her caller. She figured out how to gain control of the body by using the blood of the undead to dehumanize the body enough that she could take control and live in it, becoming this sort of human eternal life form."

"What happened?" Xander asked, looking up to her in interest.

"Hiroshima, it looks like. Thwarted her plans and ruined the ceremony…Uh…there's some other stuff in here but it's in a different language and I don't really understand it."

"May I?" Giles asked, before taking the book from Dawn's hand and skimming through it for himself. "Yes…of course. That makes perfect sense!"

"Uh…Giles…want to help out the people who this isn't making perfect sense to?" Willow asked, looking around to be sure she wasn't the only one who didn't get where he was going with this.

"Well…it's rather complicated it seems, however, with the blood of a vampire Nedda can hone her energy source into the caller's body somehow- thereby forcing the soul of that's person out of it's own body and forcing it into the world she came from. Sort of like trading places if you will."

"Can you read the other stuff?" Dawn asked.

"No, I'll need to investigate a little further. Meanwhile…Willow, will you start looking up any blood rituals you can find that use or involve the blood of a vampire?"

Willow nodded and headed for a different pile of sources that listed spells and rituals. 

"Xander, please call on Buffy and Spike. I would like them to come look at this."

"Okay, fine…I'll get the blond freak out of the slayers bedroom, but if I hear anything funny when I walk up the stairs I am sooooo sending Willow to handle this one."

Xander headed up the stairs towards Buffy's room. 

**********

Spike was with Buffy in her room as she began to pack a duffle bag of weapons. "Not sure what to bring…what kills a Nedda? Or is it just Nedda? Not sure how that works," she asked, as she fumbled through her weapons chest picking up items and throwing them back in. She picked up a long samurai sword and looked at it a moment as if actually considering it, before putting it back in the chest. 

"Well love, I suggest you bring something sharp and something pointy…that usually works best, besides…don't forget she's got vampires on her team too."

"Check..I've got sharp, pointy, and woody." She said, as she pulled out a short sword, her cross bow, and handed a couple of stakes over to Spike before grabbing some for herself. She walked over to the closet pulling out a sweater for herself. "You ready? Good, lets go."

"Hold on there. Don't you want to make a plan or something first. We don't even know how to kill this thing pet. I realize you're angry with Red and the Watcher, but you still might need their help in this one. No sense in being rash."

"I have a plan," she said, sounding as sure of herself as ever, "we go in, we kill evil demon lady, we win- that's the plan. You in this or what?"

"I've got your back slayer, you know that- however there is a little issue of it being daylight out. You know I'm the very first to say…let's do it," he smirked at that line, "but let's wait and see what they come up with first."

Buffy huffed a moment before sitting back down on the bed. "Your right Spike. I'm just really… angry." She unzipped the sweater she ha just put on and placed it by her side. "After that stunt that Giles pulled with Wood…the whole…being in your mind thing- I feel betrayed. Then the whole Nicky thing…it's a lot to try to deal."

"I know pet, but we'll do it…together."

At that they turned to hear Xander screaming in the hallway… "I'm coming, towards your bedroom…coming to get you Buffy…so if you're doing anything…gross and disgusting with bleach bottle blond boy, now would be the time to stop.

Buffy and Spike looked at each other a moment, rolling their eyes simultaneously. "Come in Xander," Buffy yelled to him as he walked in the room hesitantly.

"Giles has got some news for you. You should come down stairs."

**********

Giles went over what little information he had with Buffy and Spike before going back to his books.

Buffy decided to get some alone time with Nicky and asked Spike to work with some of the potentials in the basement on their form. He walked over to her and whispered in her ear, "I'd rather be working on your form, but if you insist…" 

Buffy blushed before pushing him off of her and sternly pointing towards the basement. "Alright love, I've got it," he answered, grateful for the playfulness that had been revived in their relationship.

Nicky was outside again in the back yard. Buffy walked out and motioned for her to sit beside her on her bench.

"Anything else I should know before doing this?"

Nicky looked at her confused for a moment, not knowing how to answer. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Well," Buffy started, "It seems to me that you left out some information when we first met. I understand why you did…I think, but I just want to make sure we've got the full story before going out to do battle for you."

(TBC)

******************************************************************

Thanks again for the reviews. A new chapter coming soon and the end is near. Next update will be on "Revelations," but I will not leave you hanging..I promise! As always, please let me know what you think.

-Erica


	13. Get ready

It was almost evening, Willow hadn't found much and Giles was not doing much better. Buffy decided it was time to go face this thing head on.

Buffy went up to her room and grabbed the bag she had packed full of weapons earlier. As she was ready to head out Spike walked in and closed the door behind him. 

"You ready to go or what?" She asked, still not sure of why he had followed her up there.

Before he replied he grabbed her fiercely, making her drop the bag she was holding. He took a second to look into her eyes before touching his lips to her and releasing the fire that had been burning since he left her bed that morning.

He reached his arms around her body lifting her off the ground as she wrapped her legs tight against him. They kissed for what seemed like days, the flame within them both releasing an overpowering energy that was ready to lose control. When suddenly he pulled back.

As her feet touched the ground she looked at him in confusion. Her heartbeat was racing and her chest was heaving from the deep breaths she was taking. Her eyes looked towards him pleading for him not to leave her like this.

He walked over and gave her a semi-chaste tap kiss on the lips, and wrapping his arms around her more gently before speaking.

"Let's just get this over with then, love, I've got some plans for our victory party." He let her go and raised an eyebrow, his lips forming into a seductive smirk. He wrestled his body into his old duster before picking up the bag of weapons Buffy had dropped and throwing it over his shoulder.

Buffy was speechless. She didn't know how to respond, but the ache in her body was fierce. She followed him out of her room while secretly her heart was racing, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible so that she could find out what his plan for victory was.

They raced down the stairs and were stopped by Nicky at the front door. "I'm coming with you!" She stated defiantly. 

Buffy rolled her eyes at her in annoyance, "No…you're not."

Nicky's eyes were ablaze, her long black curls that had been in disarray that morning were now tied up neatly into a small tight bun.

"Look, I realize that you're pissed off and I understand that, I do- but I started this shit and I'm going to finish it. I need to help put an end to this. Besides, I'm the only one who knows her."

Buffy was frustrated. She looked towards Spike who merely shrugged his shoulders. She looked back at the determined look on Nicky's face and realized this wasn't worth arguing. The time was running out. She needed to find Nedda before Nedda came looking for her.

"Fine, lets go. You stay back though, and don't get in the way." 

TBC

**********

Sorry this chapter has been so long in the waiting, but I had a little trouble with the rating on one of my stories…it was a little too smutty for the likes of this particular website and my means of punishment was being unable to upload new chappies for days and days… It would seem that the harder and harder I try to be good my past keeps catching up to me. I've heard however that being banned makes you more popular. I guess I will soon find out.

I promise updates soon!

-Erica


	14. Battleground

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that

Chapter 14- Battleground

**********

The sky was rich with hews of orange and yellows streaming across, the way it only looks after a perfect sunset. It wasn't quite dark yet, but it was near night enough that Spike could roam the streets like a man and not burn like a demon.

The three of them walked in silence- Buffy, Spike, and Nicky. 

Buffy was trying desperately not to think, for fear that Nicky would read her emotions like a book. It was creepy being around someone that could be in your head. It was invasive, like someone looking at your medical records or reading your diary.

Still, she couldn't help thinking of the last kiss Spike had planted on her. The possibilities of that one small action sent shivers down her spine.

Also, she thought of what Nicky had said the first time she saw her. . _"The only way you can win is if you let go of ALL of your fears…you have to tell him…or he will die."_

She wasn't really sure what that meant, but it was playing over and over in her mind. All she knew was that she had to tell him she loved him, and make it count.

Spike was the first to break the silence as they approached the cemetery where he had first encountered Nicky. He turned his head towards Buffy, pausing a moment to enjoy her beauty before speaking, "We'll check out the surrounding areas for any security vamps and ease in with a few quiet kills before moving in on the bitch. Got that pet? No making chatty's with the demons tonight…we have to try to get read of some of her defenses first."

Buffy nodded her approval and followed him through the gates.

The sky was quickly turning to deep blue as they walked gently through the cemetery. Spike signaled when they were near the crypt. 

At that Buffy Grabbed Nicky by the arm forcing her to follow the slayer towards the left of the crypt, while Spike headed towards the right.

Buffy snuck up on a vampire that was facing the other way behind a tree, quickly delivering a stake through his back. A brief look of confusion rose to his face before he quickly turned to dust. He never knew what hit him.

She caught another off guard around the back of the crypt before running into Spike again. "I got two," she whispered, "how about you."

"Same here love, I'm sure there are more though..I can sense them."

The words had hardly left his mouth when they were suddenly encircled by a group of vamps, 6 of them. With their backs against the wall, Nicky leaned next to Buffy, speaking in her ear, "What do we do now?"

Buffy reached into her bag handing a stake and a cross over to Nicky, "Now 'we' fight, " she said, indicating herself and spike. "You stand back and try not to get dead."

Spike was in his glory. Game face on he maneuvered himself like a pro, delivering punches and kicks like only someone with over a hundreds years experience could. He was enjoying this one. "What, you wanted a party? Let's go then you big poof!!" He motioned towards larger vamp in question and delivered an upper cut that made the demon double over. At that, Spike knee'd him in the face, forcing him up again. Once the vampire's head faced up a fierce jab was delivered to his face. 

"You know what they say," spike mused, "the bigger they are…" he stopped to deliver the stake he had handy to the vampire's heart… "The more soddin' ashes they make." 

"Hey!!!" Buffy, yelled towards Spike, "You told me no to the chatty…yet, you chat! I'm the slayer; I'm the one who delivers the witty remarks while slaying…besides… 'The more ashes they make?? Come on."

"Alright then…I'll just kill them silently- But you don't have to take the fun away from it pet."

Buffy smiled before moving in on vamp number two for her. Her first one dusted easily. The vamp was somewhat portly. He was big, but somewhat resembled a well-fed cat. A third one tried to move in, but she side kicked him away, buying some time to finish with the one at hand.

"You will be my greatest conquest!" The vampire growled at Buffy, lifting her easily and tossing her against the wall. The stake she was holding fell out of her grip. She threw herself to the floor, sweeping the large vamp down. While he attempted to regain balance she pulled the small sword out of her bag.

The vampire grabbed her from behind as she was still bent over her bag, trying to force her to the floor. "I will make a great meal of you!" He taunted, leaning in to her neck. At that Buffy threw her head back and head-butted him, turning swiftly, "yeah well I think you need to go on a diet, fat boy," slicing the vampire's head off of it's body.

"Vampires these days, always a glutton for punishment."

She looked to Spike, her vamp number three was jumping in on him from the back while he faced another. She was about to shout a warn to him when suddenly he turned, delivering a round house kick that not only knocked down the vamp before him, but also the one behind. Buffy quickly jumped in still holding her sword, quickly finishing up number three by way of decapitation. "That's what you get for not fighting fair!" She said, as the dust hit the floor.

Spike finished his off, before turning to Buffy. "That all of them love?" 

"Looks like….Nicky you okay?" Buffy turned to where she had been only minutes before only to find an empty space. 

"Where'd the girl go?"

"Don't know…but something tells me it's not of the good."

**********

The Scooby's were situated around the living room. Willow, Giles, and Xander looking through books and yet more books. 

Dawn was on Willow's laptop searching for information that as far as she was concerned, didn't exist. She was about ready to voice her opinion when suddenly Willow shouted, piercing the quiet that had surrounded them for hours.

"Giles!! I found something." They all looked up from what they were doing. Kennedy walked in from the kitchen to see what the noise was about, and Anya opened her eyes from the nap she was taking on the lazy boy.

He looked up towards her, ready to walk over when she spoke again. "Oh no!"

"What is it Willow?"

"This…it's not good…we have to go after them!"

TBC

**********

Sneaky, sneaky I am- with the cliffhangers and all. Hope you enjoyed the action. I love the fight scenes, was a martial artist myself for some years, but it's difficult to write and make interesting. The end of this story is soon near, only a few chapters left. I hope you stick with it!

Thanks for the reviews and the support!

-Erica


	15. Linking Paths

Chapter 15- Linking paths

**********

(Buffy's living room)

The Scooby's present all turned at once to face a troubled Willow, still waiting for her to speak. She was trying hard to find a way to explain what she had found when Xander finally broke the silence.

"Again we ask, this time with some form of a reply please…what is it?" Xander begged, anxious over Willow's trepidation. 

"It's Nedda…I mean Nicky…Nicky is Nedda. We had the wrong one."

"I believe the whole gang is with me when I say…huh??" Xander turned to look at the people around him, just to be sure he saw the same confusion in their faces as he was feeling. Comfortable that they all looked just as perplexed as he was, he turned back to Willow for confirmation. He was signaling for her to go on, and was about to speak when Giles interjected.

"Please Willow, continue." He shot Xander a look of annoyance for having interrupted. 

Giles was now seriously concerned. He didn't like where this was going and realized he would have to think quickly. Whatever it was that Willow found, it wasn't good. He needed a plan.

"There's a ritual…to make incorporeal forms human or subhuman…or whatever…to make it actually exist in the physical body for more than a short period of time, forever actually…it requires her to be bitten by a vampire and then to drink of the blood of the body she's suppose to inhabit…it's only been attempted once before…1945"

"Hiroshima! See, I told you! I…" 

Giles jumped in, interrupting Dawn's, about to be- rant.

"What are you saying?" Giles asked, almost understanding what it was she was saying, but not quite there yet.

"When Spike found Nic…the girl in the crypt…he found Nedda. That's who was in the house. It was Nedda…only…pretending to be Nicky."

"Then that means that Nicky's still in danger?" Dawn asked.

"Yes," Giles answered, "But it also means that Buffy and Spike have just walked in to a trap."

**********

__

(Graveyard)

"Nicky?" Buffy yelled, searching for some sort of response. 

She walked around to the front of the crypt cautiously, weapons bag in had, with Spike by her side. They looked at each other in quiet understanding before bursting through the crypt door, ready to fend off whatever might attack them.

"Empty." Spike said, lifting the lids of the two sarcophagi's the crypt housed to be sure no one was hiding inside.

"She's in trouble…we have to find her. We split up."

"No pet! We stick together…I'll not have you running off on your own while that demon bitch is out there."  
  
"Spike, in case you've forgotten… I am the slayer…I can take care of myself. We split up…not too far, within hearing distance- so we can hear each other call of one of us finds anything."

Spike huffed a bit before submitting. Who was he kidding…if the slayer said jump he would ask how bloody high. He was about to walk away when Buffy grabbed him and pulled him to her. 

She reached up and kissed him briefly, but powerfully. He was fulfilled with the taste of her, however fleeting. When she pulled back his lips were left with a craving for more. The look in his face was obvious. He could easily forget about the mission at hand and take her at this moment. 

Buffy was about to get caught up in it too. She was left yearning as well, but her calling…well…it was calling her right now. She had to fight this demon, and save the girl. Then she could have her moment. She reached into her bag pulling out the small axe she had thrown in.

"Don't get hurt," she said- as she handed to small weapon to him.

"What? And miss the fun we're going to have when this is over with and done? Never. I've got plans for you love." He grinned seductively before walking out of the crypt. 

Buffy followed out and headed to the right, Spike walked towards the left.

Spike only got a few feet into the wooded area when he was grabbed from behind. He turned, about to pummel to death whatever it was that grabbed him. "I hope it's you cause…oh. Nicky? Why'd you run off like that?" He was about to call for Buffy when she lifter her finger to his lips.

"Shhh…don't" She whispered.

Spike looked at her suspiciously for a moment, wondering what she was up to.

"Don't you wonder Spike? What it would be like to really have her?"  


"What are you talking about?" He asked, His voice slow and serious.

"I can give that to you. I was going to take the witch, but Nicky's powers are limited…the physical strength of a slayer…now that's interesting." She began pacing around in a small circle as she spoke, knowing that her audience was captive and interested in what she had to say.

"You're immortal, while she's merely human. Granted, she's a great piece of work…but it can never work for the two of you, not like this anyway…"

"I…"

"Now let me finish cutie." Spike stood quiet, listening intently to what she was saying. "I couldn't believe it at first, but after last night…My Goodness! What passion! I mean, a vampire…in love with a slayer…it's just…poetic."  
  
"So I've heard"

"Here's the deal Spikey poo. You give me what I want…and I give you what you want for all of eternity. The Slayer and I will be one…I'll leave Nicky alone. But your Buffy…your precious Buffy, will live on ."

Nedda/Nicky put her hands on Spike's chest and looked up into his eyes. She started caressing his tight form, appreciating the physique beneath his t-shirt. "There's something about the male form…when it's built right, when a body is built painstakingly to perfection…" She moved her arms under his leather duster, feeling the muscles in his back flex, as she looked up and watched as his jaw tightened. Your body is just…right." 

Her words were nearly a whisper now, her breathing was slow and calculated. She reached her hand up to run it through his hair… "I can appreciate you Spike, for the man that you are. The strength that courses through your body, the control…I'll never get tired of it…and I can do it…in that body that you seem to love so much. Her face, her eyes…ah yes…her hair- that's a big for you isn't it? Smooth golden tresses streamed across your chest after hours of lovemaking. 

You killed my small little army, but that's okay…all I need is you."

With that she gripped the handful of platinum hair that she was playing with and pulled his head down, turning her head to the side to offer him her neck.

"Come on Spike…you know you want a taste."

**********

TBC

Oh come one…you know the suspense is killing you. Let me know just how much and I might not break your little hearts!

-Erica 


End file.
